If You go to get the Sunday paper and You come back on Monday without it.
If You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside.
When the best route from point A to point B is through the mud.
When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark.
You roll Your Land Rover over and look for it's thingy.
Your mom and sister can't get in without help.
You judge every hill You see by how much fun it would be to climb.
You search for roads on an OS Map.
You puke when You see a Jeep.
You get custom pin-striping from a gate post.
If it takes more than 6 hours to get milk.
When You take Your friends for a drive and they say "What track - I don't see a track!".
Your friends won't ride with You 'cause they don't want to wind up in the lost in the middle of the night.
When Your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that You wash Your car.
When You finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks You bought a new Land Rover.
You carry emergency supplies and clothing because You never know where You will end up.
When You change Your plugs in the car park at work on a break.
If Your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind Your house.
When You take Your Mom for a drive and she has to help You flip the Land Rover back onto it's wheels again.
You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield.
You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents.
Every page of Your repair manual has fingerprints.
Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when You take them for a drive.
You spend more time under Your Land Rover than under Your significant other.
You spend more on oil than on insurance.
You complain about everything but smile when You fix everything yourself.
When You think Mud Brown should be a factory paint colour.
When You feel sorry for someone with a £40,000 Toyota Land Cruiser.
When You have all Your credit card numbers memorized.
When You slam the door and part of Your Land Rover crumbles to the ground.
If You get asked to pick up Your co-workers in a snow storm and get paid for it.
Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.
You are the only one on the street that doesn't grit their driveway.
You try to run the gritters off the road when it snows.
You have a high-water mark INSIDE theLand Rover.
The first word out of Your 2 year old's mouth isn't Mommy or Daddy, it's Land Rover!
Land Rover Jokes
2) When putting a Land Rover portrait against the wall, remember to put some old newspapers on the floor to catch the oil leaks.
3) Why is a Land Rovers rear windows heated? So your hands are warm when you push them.
4) Why did they use Land Rovers for the Camel trophy? To make things as difficult as possible for the contestants.
5) With a Land Rover you can't decide whether to park on a hill in case your starter fails or on the flat in case your handbrake fails.
6) How do you get oil into a Land Rover? Throw the oil over the engine and it will leak in.
7) What does the Titanic and a Land Rover have in common? It has the same turning circle and is just as waterproof
8)Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil?
The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.
9)Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner
"How can you tell one switch from another as they all look the same ?"
"He replied, it does not matter which one you use, nothing happens .
10)A Land Rover doesn't leak oil, it just marks it's territory.